Remembrance of a lost age through a family heirloom

I asked mum last year about what happened to things/objects they brought with them when they fled the newly created state of Pakistan as refugees in 1947. “Objects? Things? What are you talking about? We were lucky to escape with our lives with just the clothes on our back. It is very difficult for people today to realise what a horrible, dangerous, violent time it was. Everything that we had was left behind.” Lesson learned, I left it at that.

Mum had an accident last week and suffered a haemorrhage in her left eye. Already with a very weak eyesight, she was left almost totally blind as a blood clot formed behind her retina. My brother immediately rushed her to hospital and we were very lucky that she was operated on that just two days later. No one is sure whether the operation is a success or not and we have to wait another four to five weeks to be sure. My younger brother who is in a real sense her primary carer and I decided that it would be good for me to come and spend some time with her. “I don't often have the patience,” he said, “and you're a storyteller and a listener and she enjoys reminiscing with you about the past and family history . So yes, come on over and spend some time with her.”

I came to Slough where mum lives, last Saturday and have spent most of the time trying to lift her spirits and cheer her up. I've enjoyed cooking and cleaning and helping her but most of all doing what she enjoys most: listening to her. Today, totally out of the blue she said, “I am glad you came. You have filled me with energy and I'm a lot happier.” And then she paid me the ultimate compliment. My sister died about 9 years ago and her passing took a huge mental and physical toll on my mother’s health. But today she told me, “Having you here, it's like having a daughter in the house.” I have always taken being called a woman as a compliment so was happy to hear it. And then she said, “Come upstairs. I want to show you something.” Almost totally blind and not in the best of health she managed to get up the stairs up the stairs quite quickly and asked me to open a drawer. Out of that we pulled out a beautiful red shawl with gold braids. “Now we have to be very careful with this because it is very fragile and torn in parts,” she told me as she slowly unwrapped and spread out this amazing piece of cloth.

Mum then went on to tell me the fascinating story of the shawl. Doing a quick calculation in her head and with a smile in her face she told me that this shawl was 105 years old. “My father, your grand father one year hard a particularly rich cotton harvest. They took it to the market and he made a very good profit. As a son, your late uncle Duleep Singh, had recently being born to him, he spent a good amount of money buying this shawl for his wife. So precious it was that my mum somehow managed to carry it across the border in 1947. And years later when I got married she put this shawl to cover my head. I know you will appreciate this and maybe you might want to have it repaired and give it to one of the museums you often work at.” We talked at length about the shawl and other family matters all of which seemed to energise her even further. An association of the shawl with one of my favourite uncles and my mother made it quiet and emotional experience for me. “No mom, I'm not going to give it to a museum. I am going to take it home and look after it. I will display it in my office/library in such a way that people who come to visit me notice it and ask me about it so I can then tell them how this beautiful object with such a fascinating history has survived in our family for 105 years as well as the bloody partition of India in 1947 which saw millions lose their lives and horiffic massacres. And if and when the time comes that my daughter Jass, your first grandchild, decides to get married I will pass it on to her.” Both caught up in the emotions that engulfed us suddenly we cried as we experienced a sort of catharsis. I later rang my daughter to tell her about what I had discussed with her grandmother. We hope the operation has been a great success and that mum gets her eyesight back.

Here is mom unwrapping the shawl and telling me how it ended up in England.

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